azizisbored:

Essential reading for any gentleman!

gq:

What Would Jean-Ralphio Do? (WWJ-RD?)

Parks and Recreation’s Snake Juice entrepreneur offers love advice and more.

GQ: Best way to pop the more important question, i.e. “Will you have sex with me?”
Jean-Ralphio: Text; tweet; Friendster post; fortune in a fortune cookie; during a screening of Stuart Little; sign language; Legos; make an adorable 2-year-old hand over a note asking the question for you; as a follow-up question, after she says “no” to “will you marry me.”

GQ: What’s the ideal date?
Jean-Ralphio: Me, Snake Juice, anything by Tyrese or Sisqó playing in the background, waterbed.

GQ: You’re in fifth grade. It’s math class. Julie sends you a note: I think you’re kinda cute.” What’s your next move?
Jean-Ralphio: I pass her a scientific calculator with pre-typed numbers that, when held upside down, spells BOOBIES.

GQ: You’re 83 years old. It’s bingo night. Ethel makes eye contact. What’s your next move?
Jean-Ralphio: I pass her a scientific calculator with pre-typed numbers that, when held upside down, spells BOOBIES.

so. damn. good.